I've been traveling a lot in the past few months. I've spent hours trying to be productive on tour buses, living room floors, and green rooms. Trying to balance work and adventure. Trying not to feel as if I'm wasting my time, even though the very reason I'm traveling seems like just as productive/exciting of a reason that someone would expect. I don't feel that performing someone else's music and helping them with their dreams can be justified when I'm using their very art as an excuse to avoid my own. Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, but I've realized my reasons for always taking these jobs for friends and great musicians have been double-sided
Honestly, I've had my new record done for almost a month. Besides little tiny magical editing things, there's not much else to be done. And most of those little odds and ends could be covered in a days work; even so, when I come across a day which ought to be used to complete the record, I practically search for other work to take it's place. Arguing to myself that I should be selfless and work on others projects. "I can work on my own stuff on my own time" is what I've found myself saying a lot. The reality for me as an artist is coming to terms with my fear of releasing an imperfect product. I know every artist seems to play this card, often times fishing for compliments, but I honestly would gladly point out every flaw in this record. Hearing all the times I could have paid more attention to timbres and textures or hearing little artifacts of slamming doors and scratching belt buckles. I know I don't have the ability to recreate the ideas in my head, and the idea of releasing something apart from my original goal seems like a wrongdoing.
Tonight I realized that I've finished editing everything I want for my record. I do still have a friend coming to record some vocals on a few tracks, but beyond that, there's nothing left for me to do besides send it off. This is the first time I've sent my music to someone else for mixing. I've done everything myself for the last two record, which is percisely why I'm choosing to trust someone else with my work. Someone who's far more experienced at taking an objective stance on the technicallity of music while being subjective to its feel. I'm honestly excited for it. If for nothing but the open schedule to work on album artwork, merch, and publishing work that I often leave till that very last second before releasing.
I have loved traveling. Going to new cities or discovering new things in familiar cities, I'm always coming home filled. Even with all the good that I know comes from traveling, I'm excited to take the next month to settle in and finish what I have here. I'm sorry to keep you guys waiting for what feels like years. If you're from Instagram this is probably way to much information than you were expecting to click on, and for that I am sorry.