I'm having a very hard time deciding a lot of crucial turns I could make with the future of my personal music career. I've been encouraged to write so many new songs that cast a shadow on my previous work. I'm really excited but there are obstacles I have to face in front of me.
The problem lies in my personal life. The entire album is based on the remnants of my past relationship and the transition into a new interest. In January After writing (what I though was) the last song called The Transition I felt it wasn't finished, as if I'd left gaps in the story but I ignored them. I tried to name the album The Transition and hide my desire to keep searching for a title my heart and head could agree upon. The months leading up to May were quite hard on me. I had a hard time dealing with the feelings about the relationships in my life, I felt like I was dying on the inside. I started writing a song I would later call The Tomb. It took me almost the entire month to write the song but like clockwork, I would hear a new lyric almost every weekend and the song took on a sound very different from my others. It talks of my over dependance on the loved ones in my life which stemmed from my desire to live the life of others. For the past 17 years I felt as if I've lived my life as an actor, portraying the person I thought people wanted to see.
You cannot simply transition yourself into a new relationship. There is a part of you that will always be the way you were with the people of your past and until your ready to lay that person to rest, you will never fully move on to happiness. I feel like I literally let that part of me die in those late months of winter which let me build who I am from core into a person longing to be sincere. Those memories in our past may seem like bittersweet treats to dwell on from time to time, but they're poison. They weigh you down like a burden, because that's what they are. No one is the same, there are just too many people on earth living the same life.
I cannot begin to describe to you how crucial this was to the pre production of this new album. I have decide as of yesterday that I would change the name of the album from The Transition to The Tomb. This was not an easy decision. I'd tried to force my heart into what my head wanted for so long that it's just a forced habit to desire the transition. Knowing now what I do, It's made me wonder if I'm really ready to release another album. There are a few things I feel I need to do first. One that I'm not entirely excited about is trying to gain new fans. I always hate to ask so much of you that already appreciate my music enough to have purchased it or at least listen to it, but it would mean the world to me if you all could tell at least one other person that you think would like my music or at least my message to just go to my website. Because every person matters.
Although I will be paying for my album out of pocket, I've had a number of people ask me if they can donate on the website. Although I do give 30% of my album away, I never advertise it because I feel it's not enough to turn heads in a positive way. All people see is that I'm keeping 70%. If you do want to donate to my album you can send me a message in the contact link and we can discuss more about the topic.
I'm not trying to write music to make money or to even win approval by strangers. I just know I'm not the first person to be hurt by my situation and I'm sure there are plenty more people that need these songs. I'll keep you all posted
Thank you for reading,